Camylle's MindSay Blog

W/e

millaymill — 2004-11-29T10:11:19-05:00

Today was a crap day my mom was actin wierd and my dad... whatever Talked to Jabrea and Lido for a bit that went no where and i just bullshitted my way through an essay. Im tired and exhausted (note the diffrence). Well this ell b short im just really tired. Really Tired (Really think)

Your all I Need

millaymill — 2004-11-30T06:11:01-05:00

I have some really good friends really great one actually. (SN)

I was walking around today trying to just look at hing but i kept getting distracted at what i have no clue. I think i am really really mean to Lido too. I think that hes a really good guy but that hes jusat nuthin u kno? I mean hes funny and kind (i guess?) but he does nothing and what is it with his obsession with cars? I saw Deabrshi today and we talked for a sec, then we got into and argument about Mexico. Well thats about it....yea yea yea i kno imma lame.

Jabrea

millaymill — 2004-12-01T12:12:01-05:00

I was trying to get one of my friends to join to day and she was acting as she always does to new situations (unless it involves sex) and that is resistant. Shes a very nice girl but she is also very uninvloved and then wants to complain about not being involved. Ugggh i could not love a person more (sike) but yet she is the most aggrivating person i kno as well.

Retractment

millaymill — 2004-12-01T09:12:12-05:00

I retract me last BLOG sry.

Gspot

millaymill — 2004-12-02T10:12:08-05:00

I was sufing through the mindsay network and saw this guy whose sn was Gspot and he seemed really intringuing which got me to thinking what posseses people divulge thier entire life online? What goes on that makes it seem like its okay for everyone to know everything about you and i think that is reason y so many Americans are obsessed with knowing everything about celebrities and know everything about anything its kinda sick.

Loneliness

millaymill — 2004-12-03T04:12:07-05:00

You know how there are some days where you just want to be left alone and then there are days where you are extremely lonely. We all have them the day when we are at are weakest and today I think was that type of day for me. I really really enjoyed myself today but I felt as if something was missing? I dont know what and i cant really explain it but i was just empty. Maybe i am still trying to figure out what in the world i would fill, if i were fulfilled and satisfied . I can not imagine...only...but I dare not hope to want.

Tude

millaymill — 2004-12-07T03:12:25-05:00

Today was a good day but whta is a good day??? Is it a day when you can laugh and feel alright or is it a day when you can feel like you know whats wrong in the world and you are doing nothing about it yet you are okay with that. What do you think hte most powerful word in the whole of humanity is?............H..............E............L............L...........O. hello this word can open so many doors and yet we often pass it by as jsut a formality. We are becoming a society that is more concerned with who has the better phone and phone plan that we forget what is really important we forget that we are a peopl who must coexist with one another and though competition and a challenge maybe healthy we should not let ourselves become consumed by it.

Teeth SUCK!

millaymill — 2004-12-09T11:12:00-05:00

Im sick. Well not exactly ni have to get aroot canal and the medicine im on makes me sick so in a way Im sick. Other than that nuthin really sontroversial to say except that today before i threw up at the public library I saw my best friends ass crack. (I wonder if that had anything to do with it??Hmmm??) Well other than the fact that i will be in major pain tomorrow ill tte1 later.

Grrrr.Argggh

millaymill — 2004-12-19T11:12:44-05:00

Well...it feels so good to be back I can hardly control myself. One thing about being away in the return journey. It may take a long hard struggle to get to where you are going but the way back is "smooth sailing" to use a cliche phrase. Well here we are again...his name is...well i actually dont know his name I did not catch it . We met on hte city bus and he was just devine. Out for hte day with his family....ahhhhhhh. But there is also Tommy's son...who's name I don't know either? Huh...is that a sign?

Nuthing Surprisingly!

millaymill — 2004-12-23T10:12:41-05:00

Well all of my friends are having this major drama among themselves. And as for me abosopositvealutely nuthing is going on with me. Nothing.

Whats in a name?

millaymill — 2004-12-30T08:12:38-05:00

Whats in a name? Someone asked me recently whats in a name, not to be a little more than empathetic with them I threw myelf into a frenzy trying to explain how we a society place a great strain on making sure that those we bear any responsibility to have appropriate names. Those who represent us, those who come from our family and those who we bear into this world. We see them not as the people they are but as the people we want them to be. Only a rare few can come along and see what the world really has to offer. We can not limit ourselves to knowing one particular subjec or one particular pastime.

"So that you could have all the I did not"

millaymill — 2004-12-30T08:12:05-05:00

There is no need for an adult to ever use the words, "so the you could have all that I did not" I did it all for you. Sacrifice is a burden that many as Americans can not seem to balance out between lattes and politically correct television. There is no need, be what you are and live the life that was given to you just as it is your offsprings obligation to themselves to do the same. You making a world for them that, they can live like Princes and Princesses is not in tune with realiy. One day we may be there but today is not that day. We will experience so much more loss and so much more pain as a result of the things. Making them customed tailored to fit your life will only make the lessons we need to learn harder and harder. I did it so that you could live the life that I could never have... well I say let me live your life becuase ninety-nine percent of the time the person who is saying this is the most loved and respected among those who know them. And know them deeply.

My Precious

millaymill — 2005-01-03T05:01:01-05:00

Awwww...new loves are always fun.. or I should say new body parts. I talked to this guy (very freaky guy mind u) over the phone on New Year's Eve and OMG... What i would not give to have a whole uterus. NEway Ive never met this guy but, and I really need to stop acting like a feen cause I doint even know if he will like me. Ahhh insecurities.

Today

millaymill — 2005-01-04T07:01:49-05:00

Today was an interesting enough day. I learned something new about an old friend today. And i went to Wal-Mart with my mom and i walked down the Valentine's isle (why they have a Valentine's isle in January idk) and i selflessly bought myself those small candy Valentine's that I love, and came to the realization that I will never ever in my entire high school career have a Valentine, but I think that I may someday be okay with that.

Things to do if the World were to end

millaymill — 2005-01-06T05:01:53-05:00

Throw a surprise party for yourself. Turn off all the lights, then turn them on and yell "Surprise!" Act shocked.
Color outside the lines.
Dress in a black cape and mask and pretend to be the Phantom of the Opera. Also good for most other musicals and superheros as well (knowledge of theme songs a great asset).
Turette's syndrome.
Go up to a mall and conduct a survey using such questions as "What is your favorite smurf?", and "How many licks does is take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop?", and "Which do you prefer: Original or Extra Crispy?"
Read backwards.
Speak a foreign language while shopping. Ask lots of questions and act frustrated when they can't understand you.
Glue money to the floor and watch people try to pick it up.
Go up to a salesman and ask "May I help you?"
Go into a building and set all the clocks ahead one hour (or behind, if you're really bold).
Go to a park bench and walk around it in a circle. If someone asks what you're doing, tell them that you are making the earth turn (SOMEone has to keep it going).
Go door to door selling individual M&M's (or Post-It-Note pads, paper, grass samples, toothpaste, cereal-by-the-flake or gram, or anything else you think might be amusing).
Pretend to have a split personality. Maybe even three. Talk to yourself.
While riding a bus, everytime the bus driver applies the brake, yell, "We're going to crash! We're all going to die!" and duck in the fetal position under your seat.
Jam miniature marshmallows up your nose and sneeze them out. See how many you can do at once.
When someone says "Have a nice day," tell them you have other plans.
Make a list of things to do that you've already done.
Fill out your tax forms using Roman Numerals.
Leaf through a "National Geographic" and draw underwear on the natives.
Drive to work in reverse.
Write a short story using alphabet soup.
Stare at people through the tines of a fork and pretend they're in jail.
Go up to people, ask their name, and give them a nametag.
Communicate in mime.
Count how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll pop.
Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.
Do your math homework with an abacus.
Learn all the world capitals
Write a novel
See how hot various items can get in the microwave(ie. olives, grapes, etc.)
Make lists. Movies you've seen, unusual names, people you've met in your lifetime, kinds of writing utensils, etc
Alphabetize your books, cds, movies, etc
Color-coordinate your wordrobe
Compose songs using a touch tone phone
Disassemble items and try to put them back together (i.e. pens, TV, radio, calculator, cars, etc.)
Build a card house
Stick plungers on the wall
Find out how close you can get your elbow to your mouth
Measure things
Order junk-mail
Phone your house from your house
Hold your breath for as long as possible
Change all of your money to pennies
See what interesting things you can find in your nose
Sing the alphabet backwards
Make a big ball of rubber bands, tin foil, gum, etc.
Decorate your bedroom with the foil off of gum wrappers
Play ping-pong with yourself
Make imaginary friends
Grow a Chia-pet
Flip a coin --> best 51 of 101
Cook or bake something by Jello
See how much tabasco sauce or hot peppers you can eat without drinking water
Put your name on everything
Label everything
In alphabetical order, list all the words you know
Call every number in the phone book and see how many friends you can make
Talk to telemarketors
Read the dictionary
Count your toes (hey, you never know)
Drink 12 shots of Vodka. Count your toes without falling over. Compare results to recent counting.
Build a spaceship out of household appliances. Fly.
Start a business. Sell grass, toothpicks, lamps, etc

For me?

millaymill — 2005-01-10T04:01:51-05:00

Today I was not at school at all I went for Lunch and none class that was 80 minutes of complete bullshit/. My teeth are pink becasue I havge been eating my favorite bag of candy all day (Necco Tiny Sweethearts). I rode around all day with my best friends in one of their boyfriends car and we went to visit the other. And what of me well all tha horoscopes say that this month will be my month to blossom whatever the fuck that means? I just want someone to lay my head on is that too much to ask? Someone to go out on tha weekends with. Ugggh what the fuck ever.

SICK :(

millaymill — 2005-01-11T05:01:08-05:00

I hate being sick...then I can't enjoy the wonders that life has to offer...yea RT. Even if I had one day to live I would continue to live my life the way I see fit ...not my mother or my friends. And I have to make a public apology to one of my dear friends who at times i catch myself reprimanding her when she is just doing the same as I am and begin herself. So to her (and she may notknow who she is) but I am sorry. Dont mention this in the public of other is bad enough i have committed it to the internet. Other than that I will close by saying... take care of your immune systems people because having a cold is a bitch. Toodles.

Temet Nostre

millaymill — 2005-01-22T03:01:43-05:00

Nuthin much ta report...just chillin and hopin school will be cancelled on Mon..on account of tha snow.

Brownies

millaymill — 2005-01-24T08:01:37-05:00

We did not have school today on account of the weather...it was SUPER cold. Anywho...My bestest, Tee and anther friend of mine,Lido came over and we went over to one of my other bestest's house, Brea and we sat over laughin and then it got real boring. so we left and ended up at Tee's house listenin to music and makin' CDs...then I went to drivers ed. (ZZzzzz...) and came home. I frikkin need a frikkin man(Uggghh)

Her Life, Life

millaymill — 2005-01-30T02:01:02-05:00

Like the word life I experience many ups and down... I have been fortunate enough to never have been homeless or on welfare, so I have an immence amoutn to be greatful for. My mother has taken care of me, be it sickness (physical or mental) and she has always supported me in the few decisions that I have had to made. But when I look at my mother I can see she is not truly happy. It may be something that she tries to mask but is seeps through like the sunshine on a Sunday morning. She is a very strong and provides herself as a pillar in the live of others. I dont think shes spreading herself to thin but I think as she come through and shows others how reliable she is their expectations of her become heightened. This is not a bad thing either but when those expectations become unreachable for her then I begin to worry.What canI do? She is no longer living her life for her but she is now living it to support those around her. She's no doormat my mother does know how to use the word 'no' and does so willingly. Things are different as our family falls apart she is becoming the only good thing and that can make things difficult. Being called for loans, or rides, or advice. She is married and has three children. One a 26 year old who does not know what she wants to do with her life and is living day to day with three kids that she can barely provide for. Twins a boy and a girl, the boy who no longer lives with us (by his own choice) has been expelled from school is in the 9th grade but is supposed to be in the 11th grade and is going ot be a future father at 16. The girl who attends 11th grade of her high school and works a part-time job. My mother has a lot on her plate and she gets it all done. One wasy or another, and all at her exspense. What can I do? I know for a fact that I take advatage of my mother... not in a malicious way but if she can do it I tend not to hasitate to ask. So not only me but years of standing tall has caused her to begin crumble. Or like a beautiful work of art that has ahd little to no care, she has began to deteriorate. What can I do? Recently married, it seemed that she would soon have peace in her life. In my opinion this has not happened... plagued with another person to fulfill she is now more than ever beginning to come undone. Worrying has become her number one priority and she has does not know how to do anything other than that. She can not go throughout the day without being asked for something that she can either, not afford to give or wnat to give but nine times out of ten she'll give. What can I do?

Being reliabale, consistent, and dependable are great qualities to have but when you are a human being you have limits to what you can do and how much you can hold. Never putting yourself first can only lead to downfall and a great and exceptional woman can fall hard and fast. So live your life the way you see fit no one elses.

Promise me that.. Promise me that you will live your life like the Queen or King you desire to be. Promise me. Promise me.

10 Days...Except Im Not Trying to Lose a Guy.

millaymill — 2005-02-08T05:02:46-05:00

Okkk....well the official countdown has begun for my birthday....10 days and Ill will be eligible to....oh yea see 'R' rated movies...big whoop. I am or was trying to have a little get ta gether with a couple of my friends but they are ALL being assholes.(Except 2). I just wanna go to tha movies by myself and sit in the dark crying. Hey who knows maybe ill pick up some cute guy. Well ill keep my head up and wish for tha best.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~10~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

9 days.....No real Catchy Titles for the Number Nine

millaymill — 2005-02-09T05:02:03-05:00

Well only nine more days until my birthday and Im excited. Things are goin good...well for me atleast...there is stull turmoil in the world and crime in the universe. But me Im doin Grrrrrreat.

Fuck Him

millaymill — 2005-02-13T05:02:42-05:00

Well for all those songs with singers who sing about hating their fathers well here's mine. And I fuckin hate both of them. I HATE my real dad for ever havin sex with my mother and producing twins. I hate my stepfather for every marrying my mother and being an asshole. And my poor mother for being a victim in all this. Well as you all know there are 5 days until the big day and my dad is being an asshole. He's now saying that he wont pay for my annual dinner that I have for all of my friends. So fuck him and his bullshit.

4......And on tha 4th Day of Christmas...I dont know tha rest.

millaymill — 2005-02-14T07:02:17-05:00

Well Its Valentine's Day and there are only 4 more days until my birthday. I am optimistic about how the weekend is going to turn out but I a hopeful it will not only be memorable but satifactory as well. Jabrea and Lido seem to have come to terms with their breakup and Swann was going to come over to Taryn's to wish her an happy valentine's day but she had to go to her grandma's(Sry Babe...there's always Monday). And as for me well there maybe love in the air...or atleast a good bang bang.

3.....Tha three Blind Mice

millaymill — 2005-02-15T05:02:29-05:00

Well thats what I knida feel like a blind not necessairly mouse but just confused on whats really going on. I am still doing okay...tha talk with Webster really helped put somethings into persepctive. Three days can you believe it so many good things happen with the number three...on tha third day Jesus rose from the dead....that really funny movie 3 men and a baby....and it part of the number 8(my fav. number) if you cut it in half not mathematically. So everything is going great.

Tees kinda in a conundrum...her guys not being there for her kinda like Anna and Coady. Maybe they should get tagether and talk about whats really gion on??? All I can say is hes a really great guy but I think that he is going to miss the best person in the world, she has a great smile, a fabulous ass, and the HUGEST lips in tha world. But she is great to be around and not to mention and high-key freak. He so wrapped up in this whole basketball thing...he plays year-round by tha way....that he seems to be kinda puttin her on tha back burner and that is way not cool. Onha not cool. So Babe this ones for you.

2....A Duo, A Pair, Two of a Kind

millaymill — 2005-02-16T07:02:56-05:00

Hey guys, Im back.... and things are going good. All seem right with tha world. But thats how things work out right? They seem SUPER crappy and then right there in tha blink of an eye everything can change for better or worse. And now things have changed from worse to better and Im dreadding tha moment when it all goes bad again. But for now I will sit in total bliss, knowing that at this moment my life can not get any better....or can it?

1....Unus = One

millaymill — 2005-02-17T05:02:57-05:00

So when I wake up tomo I will offcially be seventeen years old. I will be old enough to see any R-rated movie I desire and consequently enough I don't really. But I better hold on to it while it lasts. Nuthin much to say....wish me luck.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

millaymill — 2005-02-18T04:02:08-05:00

Happy Birthday to Me!!!!!!!!!!

Hey buddies!!!

millaymill — 2005-02-25T08:02:04-05:00

Hello all...been a long time. I really have not had much to say and well to tell you tha truth I dont really have anything to sy now, but unknown sources who will remain nameless(beauteeful1) have pressured me into it. My buddies are doing okay....and by okay i mean they are falling apart. My babe's man has not been returing her calls and I dont know about the other one she seems to be withdrawn from alot. Im doing okay for tha moment and I hope things change for tha better.

Teime wiil tell

millaymill — 2005-02-27T08:02:03-05:00

Well lets see where to start where to start? I had an okay weekend...I went to Newark today to help out with this HoopFest thing for my internship it was cool and there were cute guys.... I had a dream that I was in a war making cappucinos and it was kinda wierd. I think Im going through withdrawl.......So only time will tell.

Taiwan Queen

millaymill — 2005-02-27T10:02:07-05:00

As beauteeful as the day itself

Days Like today

millaymill — 2005-02-28T10:02:48-05:00

Today it rained...Some say Im only happy when it rains but nothing could be farther from the truth. Today was...in a word........shitty. But like the great ancestors of my time I will hold my high and march on into the abyss known as life. Ahhhhh. One day the world will be a better place I just hope I can get a glimpse of that in my lifetime.

Simpleton

millaymill — 2005-03-01T05:03:10-05:00

Well not a total disaster today....I slept alot in school today and dont think I learned anything new except for the fact that if you are on your period if you decide to have sex for the time that you are your period stops but resumes again when you are done...? I think that school has an unecessary regulation placed on us by the government. NEwhoo...nuhtin much else just chillin and bout ta look for a little grub.

Torn

millaymill — 2005-03-03T06:03:39-05:00

I am really torn, torn between two things that really make me happy. One thing I cant get enough of but I think its because I dont do it everyday whereas the other thing is starting to pull at my neck like a tie that's way too tight...What a conundurm!?!

Today was cool nothing much gained or lost except tha fact that Im tired as hell, and the moms and dad are gonna be gone all day Sun to see tha Cavs play the Heat so you know what that means....House Party!!!!! Or not me prly callin Brittney and askin her to come over and watch Anchorman....?

A guy...OMG...Eur... Guy

millaymill — 2005-03-03T06:03:53-05:00

Well...idk..I dont wanna jinx it or anyhting but we have fun together...He makes fun of me being me and I tickle him till he turns red. Sexy may not be the best thing to descibe him but still hes fun too be around and that for now make me happy.

Complications

millaymill — 2005-03-04T05:03:17-05:00

I hope that this weekend is free of all complications... I hada very nice week, nuthing too special but it was nice. This weekend should also be promising, my parents are going out of town on Sunday, so I must find somewhere to be. Other than that, I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Guys Really Really Suck

millaymill — 2005-03-09T12:03:33-05:00

How is it a girl can be sittin smack dab on you rlap and ask you to a movie, and the only comment you can make is "Did you see that girls sideburnd one was longer than the other". Uggggh First of all I could care less about any other girls let alone her sideburns. Come on now guys are always complaining that women play them off to be dopes and idiot, and you know what I have to say to that, If that shoe fits....

I mean Ill be the first to say guys are sincere and sweet and know perfectly well what a woman is saying to them even if she doesnt come out and say it, but I am begininng to lose faith. So i have a plea to all guys in tha world takl to your friends and tell them not to be dumbasses....

Thats my soapbox for tha day.

Breakup to makeup....thats all we do.

millaymill — 2005-03-14T10:03:43-05:00

Well this was a suck ass weekend. My friends are having hard times...and I really am starting to lose faith in the whole dating system. Two of my friends broke up with their boyfriends and one of them got back together with their guy but the other didn't. Shes really torn up about it...I am trying to be a good friend and be by their sides but at the same time I am worn out.

My other friends I did not seen at all this weekend and we havent really fallen back into our groove so....well see. I think that I am going to just dig a hole and fall in it so that I can sleep for tha rest of my life.

Getting there

millaymill — 2005-03-21T05:03:15-05:00

Heres to new days and long lovely nights....Salud!! I think that all life should be lived in a state of oblivion reality should never be forced upon you no matter how gruesome and repulisive it is. I think that we should all live like children.... Ive had a rough couple of weeks, Ive been trying to cope with my emotions but my best friends emotions as well. I think things will begin to look up. I think that one thing in this world is as constant as it can be and that is my love for life and all that it can bring.

Spring Break

millaymill — 2005-03-29T08:03:14-05:00

Well my Spring Break has been underway for a few days now and so far Im not impressed. Im not doing shit which is fine with me but I wanna DO something...ya kno? Hopefully Ill doa little throwback and go rollerskating on Fri. but until then its nuthin but computer woes and bedtime foes.

Happy Spring Break Everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!

Uhm

millaymill — 2005-04-05T06:04:32-05:00

Nothin really has ben going on. I am once again getting up before the crack of dawn to go to school. I am a dancer in our school musical which is driving me crazy even though I know I shouldnt worry about it. I want so much to just be free from all of this. This place, my life, and more importantly this world. I can't take it anymore. Everyone is always trying to outdo someone else. I can not think of anything more than to get away from it and never come back. I cant take anymore complaining, I have tunred into Nick and I have become the one that everyone turns to when they need to tell a seceret or some tidbit of information. I am now at the point in my life where I need to move past this and do something more. The worst part about this is that there is one person in my life who more than anything I want to be able to confide in and that person in me but its not happening. We are not.....meshing???..... Im being pushed further and further away and now I have no where to go. No one to turn to. No one.

LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!

millaymill — 2005-04-05T07:04:53-05:00

LEAVE........ME........ALONE!!!!!!!!!!

Bending Over

millaymill — 2005-04-16T12:04:30-05:00

Well for all you kinky people out there this ones for you.!!! Well heres my update nuthin much goin on. Ive gotten over my spaz phase. Im in a play at my school and I hate every minute of it. I can not wait until I leave this place and go off into the world. My freinds are nuthing but DRAMA! I have little to rely on and pray every nite for someone to come save me. Like I said nuthin much new to tell. I will HOPEFULLY !!!PLEZEEEEEEZEEEEEZE have my L-card in a few wekks but knowing my lazy ass well see.

Pretty Good Day

millaymill — 2005-04-18T08:04:13-05:00

Well today was a good day, I still have yet to figure out how to quite ask this guy I like whose name is Rew (Andrew) to prom. I dont think he will go with me. Plus on top of all of that I dont think that he will wanna go with of all people me.. But supposedly thats just me talking, everyone else thinks that if I just ask him he will go.(Any sugesstions?)

I went on a bike ride today and I got a nice little workout. I am going to go shopping hoipefully for a prom fress and Ill TRY and talk to Rew tomorrow. One of my friends is not talking to me and I dont know why...whatever. School is almost out and I can not fucking wait. I think that once summer gets here Ill be cool I ll be able to relax and slow things down...or speed them up depending on what Im doing..*wink wink*

It was crazy today it rained for like 2 seconds and then it stopped then it started spinkling for a few seconds and then it stopped. But hey we all know that...Im only happy when it rains, Im only happy when its complicated and thats life.

Hitler's Day of Birth.

millaymill — 2005-04-21T03:04:09-05:00

****Warning all who may take offense please read cause I could give a shit**** Well yesterday was Hitler's Birthday and another very special day in which I was unable to participate...and those of you who dont know what it is good dont start. I think Hitler was a great man he was not only brillant in the way he carried out his plans but he also was inhuman. Some people hate for because I can admit that though the things he did were wrong the way he went about doing them have yet to be matched by any mind since him. Yes I am black and I do realize that he and his regime killed part of my heritage but I can get over it.

Other than that I wanna go to my schools prom on May 6th. But I have TWO big problems. 1. No date (yet) and 2. No dress (which can be easily taken care of.) So we will see how this one works out. I think that I am likeable but at the same time I am also I bit of fresh air to people. By that I mean Ill tell you the truth even if you dont wanna hear it. I can annoy you or ignore you till the earth turns black there is no resolution to this, or atleast none as far as I can see. Well is it were not for our flaws then where would we be?

Dooms' Day

millaymill — 2005-04-26T09:04:15-05:00

Well okay Im so not ready for prom but here I am a goin.I am excited but at the same time I really dont think that Im am ya dig? I do have a date but she one of my close friends and its not the same as getting all dolled up for some guy....***NOTE*** Which I will never do. I want to get wasted off my ass and have a load of fun and I know at the same time its going to be sad because all of my friends are going to be leaving I am going to miss them all and I think that I will cry. ***NOTE*** Which is an emotion I LOATHE to participate in. Well see hopefully all of this turns out for the best and I am wisked off of my feet into a springtime(????) wonderland.

Snugg Hugg and Be Loved.

Take Your Child to Work Day

millaymill — 2005-04-28T05:04:41-05:00

Well I think this holiday was kinda "interesting" this year. At first I asked my mom to take me but she said "no" so I was kinda bummed out. Then Im at school and I get a txt mesg sayin yo kid come to work I need your help...So of course Im thinking slave labor, but anything has got to be better than school right now...so I go. I spent the whole day working my ass off for middle america. You are all welcome.

Change

millaymill — 2005-05-05T04:05:31-05:00

Well as you can see...if uve ever been here, I have made afew changes to my page. In preparation for summer I thought a nice little change would be nice. Of Course you know me this all has some great significant meaning behind it, I have come to the realization that though change is often confronted as an unescessary and scary factor not only is it vital to the survival of our civilization but we also have to consider why it was created. Yes to make things easier and better but at whose exspense? Many young people today do not appreciate the things they are given or the small and subtle luxuries they are afforeded when many people not even in a diferent era but in the same country do not have anything.

Prom and All Its Joys

millaymill — 2005-05-07T01:05:52-05:00

Okay well this weekend was my schools prom. I am only a junior and this was like my "practice prom". I had an amazing time OMG. There were only two things that kinda put a dint in my evening and one was someone got chocolate on my SILK dress...uggggh. And one of my friends was trippin.

NEWHOOO Other than that I had an amazing time.My group met a Schiller Park and took pictures at this open theatre and it was beautiful. After the pictures we (Me, Tyneisha, Alan, David, Ellen, Alana, Brian,Jessica, Arron, Courtney, and Shannon) went out to eat at this restaurant called Barcelona's...the food was not the best but we had a nice time. And David got sick..it was kinda funny.

After din din we went to the prom and partyed (?) hardy. There was a chocolate fountain and different fruits that you put on a stick or on someone body and ate them off it was MAGNIFICENT!!!! The music was alright but who goes to prom for the music? Everyone look beautiful and the guys were kinda sharp as well. Our prom king was James Prysock, and Prom Queen was Ryan Gilton. A totally unexpected win but whatever.

After prom we get in out limo and drink a few glasses of sparkling white grape and then bring on the hard liquor...OMG I was in heaven. We stop at the grocery store to pick up some things for the hotel room we got and make plans to meet some people at a Japanese Karaoke bar for a little late night jam session. So we get there and David mind you is still sick. After he throws up he was up on stage singin and jammin with us. We sung songs like "Baby Got Back", "ABC", "Breakfast at Tiffany's-Alana and Brian who can really sing", and we had a really good time.

The food was horrible but hey who cares...after we leave there we go to the hotel and sit around and talk. Now Arron went to Grove City High School and is now going to Columbus State Comm. College. He had never met any of us before tonight but he came with us anyway...And might I add he was quite a hottie. So it was Ellen, Alan, David, Sehri, Tyneisha, Shannon, Me, Arran, Courtney, and Bryson. We all stayd up talkin about ppl and school and shit till about 4 in tha morning when Courtney and Bryson left. Naturally having run out of not only entertainment but booze we all lay down to go to bed. Well I get "the privelege" of being on the pull out couch with Alan and Arron. So its like 5ish and we were talkin about havin an orgy (not seriously or at least I wasnt serious) and Arron lays on me and we lay down to go to sleep. Well we were holding hands and he was rubbing my BELLAY. Slowly but surely my shirt began to rise and Arron was making himself comfprtable with my two friends Annabelle and Lucy. He flips me over and we are facing each other and we start makin out while hes gropin me and slowly but surely his belt buckle comes undone...courtousey of me.....and I make myself comfortable with his friends the Bouncers and the long haul...???? NEWHOOO Nothin major happened not baby makin unfortunatrly...Curse u Alan. He left at 6 in tha mornin kissin me on tha cheek it was quaint.

Well that was my Friday Bitches...!!!!

Busses are not comfortable

millaymill — 2005-05-25T08:05:04-05:00

Well, Well, Well, Its been a while and as you can probably guess there is sooo much going on in my life that I dont think it will fit in a blog.!!!!OH my! Anywhooo I had a virus (Damn You Hackers) on my computer and have since had to reinstall all the programs on my hardrive and allmy music. I went to Holmes county, Ohio yesterday to visit Amish Country and I had a great time. We went to a place called Pioneer Equipment and there was this HOT HOT HOT Amish guy who everyone said was married but I dont believe it. Then we went to his cousin's house (though he was not there) and we met her and her name was Carrie. She was friggin crazy she was cussin at us and she had recently turned 18 and got her liscense without her parents consent or knowledge. I touched a bull's tongue, and played with a horse's ass, and ate a horses hair....yea dont ask.

Well other than that today is my driving test so well see how that goes. I will either be driving home or crying latas....

I almost forgot

millaymill — 2005-06-05T05:06:41-05:00

I am officially a senior and please forgive me for not bloggin but this little friend I have named busy just wont leave me alone. I think that at some point in my life I am going to look back on all this a realize I worked to damn hard for nothing at all. But have no fears I am back and so are my blogs. Recently this guy I liked acme back from visiting his family in Connecticut and I don't know I have really mixed feeling about it but I want so much for things to be like they were a long time ago. Let's see what else has been going on...I finally got my liscense...WHOOOO!!!! And I am almost outta school only one more day. I Got a new fishy whose name is Oliver Milo Charlie...don't laugh, he beautiful and was given to me by my best friend.(Thanx again babe). I got my first bowl at Hempfest yesterday on OSU campus and I can not wait to christen it...other than that Ive been catchin up on my sleep gettin ready to work my ass off (sorta literally) this summa.

Latas.

Schools Out

millaymill — 2005-06-09T11:06:48-05:00

Well well well school is out and I am ready to get in there and join the workforce almost full-time..YEA RIGHT!?! I am tired as a muthafucka and Im sick. But u gotta do what u gotta do to make that money. Keep ya head up.!!!!

Ill miss u so much call me errday!!!

MindSayBot Update

millaymill — 2005-06-15T07:06:38-05:00

Days like today are not well known to me. I have not yet seen one where I wake up and say to myself,"Self, today you are going to be dissappointed beyond belief and you will not only not know how to handle it but you will also be alone as you try and figure out what the hell is going on". "OH and Have a good day"... Not being recognized is hard...and I mean any type of recognition be it at work or at home. Say Im out with my friends, and might I say I have some hot ass friends, but Im not so bad looking either. I mean Im no Halle or Tyra or Pamela(kinda close) but I mean come on if Monica Lewinsky can get laid by the President then what am I doing wrong? Anyone?

Bored Outta this Solar System

millaymill — 2005-06-20T09:06:37-05:00

Well my senior pics are tomo but I only have two tops outta the required five outfits. So I am going to reschedule. I am working almost evryday out of the week except three or two depending on the week. I may soon be getting a car but I think at the same time I am going to be scarred of growing up. I mean fuck yea I can't wait for the freedom and doing shit the way I want it done and no one else. But at the same time I can see how much stuff my mom really takes care of its really crazy.

I dont have a life outside of work so when Im not working I dont have anything to do so Ive become one of those ppl who sit at their computers and do absolutely nothing but for some reason they cannot pull themselv es away. So I am looking for another job.(sad i kno) or extra cirricular activities...Heres a list of things I like:

1. Not being outside
2. Not being dirty...sometimes
3. Not working hard
4. Not being lazy
5. Not doing mindless tasks
6. Watching MEN's tennis, and Rugby, Soccer

Any suggestions Im here..

Jiffy mix

millaymill — 2005-06-20T09:06:09-05:00

My nigga, My nerd, 4 life. Your skin as light as Jiffy Mix but your soul as dark as the deepest depth in the ocean. Only you can be and only you see, and only you are. We'll stick it out and be there for each other because you are my inspiration from every ounce of you puff-daddy permed hair to your extra-long lasting love for me.

Listen

millaymill — 2005-06-20T09:06:15-05:00

Stop talking
Stop writing
Stop playing
Stop walking
Stop and listen to me
Listen to the words I have to say
These words which can start to wiegh
Wieghing down on my back
Chocking ing your throat
Stopping your ears
Fear

My future

millaymill — 2005-06-21T06:06:49-05:00

Well I don't quite know what is going on? I think that I am missing the big picture whatever that might be. I wake up everyday knowing what I am doing for that day but at any time when I am not doing anything I feel like I am missing something like I am not doing something that I should. I dont really know how to explain it but I think that I am losing a battle that I am unaware is going on.

Today at work my boss talked to me about where I wanted to go to college, and granted this is something I should be thinking about or know by this point, I want to go away and see so much I want to travel and look at the world before the human race kills it off. But at the same time I still dont know where that puts me as far as a college goes. My grades aren't atrocious but they are not top notch either. So maybe the optio of taking a year off and trqaveling will help me or hurt me or going early...who knows. either way it feels like Im lost and my mom is doing nothing to help she sit and when the deadline is a week away then she wants to start asking questions.
Ugghh.

I finally got a car!

millaymill — 2005-06-29T01:06:38-05:00

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. I finally got a figgin car. I could not believe it. My dad really pulled through this time...its time to go.

Its a Honda Accord about a 98 I think....but its cute for my first car soo.....whoooooooooooooooo!!!!

Incest

millaymill — 2005-07-05T10:07:58-05:00

Well this weekend was a memorable one. I went to my family reunion in Deer Creek State Park thisz weekend. I had a great time.

I think I may have to move to West Virginia because my cousins are HOT HOT HOT and buff and athletic. OMG!!!! It was great. :D I went with my best buddy Taryn and we had a ball. We blazed up and she flirted with my cousin Daniel and we had a great time.We went swimming and tooka ride to Jeffersonville(Prime Outlets) to go have breakfast.

When I got home yesterday at like 10am I took her home to get ready to go back to jail (miss you babe) and I went home to take a shower and chill. I went over my buddy Jenny's house. Then we took off for her aunt Donna's cook-out...there was so much fooood!!!! Then we headed to Ellen's house and got blazed again. After that we walked to Whetstone Park and saw the fireworks..it was great.

I had a great weekend and I hope you all did as well.

Wimbledon

millaymill — 2005-07-05T11:07:46-05:00

Okay Okay okay..I was totally pissed when I found out that I was gonna miss the end of Wimbledon because of my family reunion. But good ol' me I taped it and so Im a little late but I predicted it. Venus Williams v. Lindsay Davenport with Venus for the win and Andy Roddick v. Roger Federer with Federer for the win. Congrats!!! and bestter luck nxt year for those not so lucky few.

Crazy World, Crazy People, Sane Me?

millaymill — 2005-07-13T02:07:37-05:00

Well since the whole thing in London happened everyone has been on the fritz about everything. I think that living in space right about now:

I just think that there is toomuch beauty in the world for so much violence.

Curfews!!!

millaymill — 2005-07-19T01:07:36-05:00

What the hell. Im 17 years old and I have to be home when the street lights come on like Im 8 years old. What are they going to do when I do turn 18? I mean 11:30 is not even that super late. And my dad tried to spit me some lame bullshit about him not ever coming home at 11:30, yea right. So I officially have no life because I get off of work at 4 and most of my friends dont get off till 5 or 6. UJggggggggggggggggggggggggggggh

Life

millaymill — 2005-07-27T11:07:51-05:00

Life is Funny, when your born you hear stories of how your aunt and uncle just had a beautiful baby girl and of how you cousin will soon be married and how you sister is on her way to college. We hear these things and begin to realize that one day we too will live out the same fate. There's no particular direction or assistance, there's no guide, and no cliffnotes we are thrown into the ring and expected to walk out the champion. As we grow we are handed more and more respnsibilty; making our own lunch(or helping anyway), getting our own key, hasnging out with our friends without parental supervision, but no one ever tells you that the responsiblity comes at a very high price.

With trying to fit in Social Studies, History, Math and Art theres no time for life. People begin ignoring you, with the understanding that you have the mental capacity to figure things out on your own. But no one will say, no one told our parents, no one told my parents, no one told me, and no one is going to tell you. And because no one will tell anyone, with the understanding that you know, things go on. We long for our parents to continue on with their love and nurturing bu tone one will say at some point it will not be the same.

No Time

millaymill — 2005-08-01T08:08:08-05:00

Well it now seems that I am spending to much time outside of the house. Ever since I got the car its been nothing but trouble. Because my sister can not control her kids from going through other peoples shit I have to get punished. Now Im not a dumbass and Im wierd too. I have not used the shower in my house on my level for the last week and a half....yea whatever not to say I have not been washing but just using a different one. So when I come home the other night my mom says why havent I cleaned the bathroom..well common sense tells me that the person dirtying it up should but again my sister can control her own kids why should i expect a grown ass 27 year old to clean up after herself. Then she asks me how dare I go out of the house without cleaning my room. Mind you i tidy up every time I walk out of the door just so I dont have to hear her mouth...my room looked so dirty that you could not tell what color the carpet was.... (hene the reason im not having any FUCKING GODAMN kids.) So now I have a time limit on when I can use the car not to mention my cute little curfew of being home when the lights are on. Ugghhhh save me before I have to save myself.

Senio 06'

millaymill — 2005-08-15T08:08:34-05:00

Well its been awhile...nuthin much goin on gettin ready for my SENIOR year!!!! Like others out here, its been kinda hectic for no apparent reason.

Again nuthin much to report just chillin out tryin to get fucked up and have a damn good time.

Quizzles

millaymill — 2005-08-26T03:08:35-05:00

I had a rose named after me and I was flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall."

-Eleanor Roosevelt

By all means marry. I f you get a good wife, you'lll become happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

-Socrates

What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money-

-Henry Youngman

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.

-Will Rogers

College

millaymill — 2005-10-17T04:10:11-05:00

Well its been awhile because Im trying to decide in the next month what to do with the rest of my life and I know nothing is set in stone or anything but its kinda wierd. I dont want to let anyone down and I really think that I am going about this the wrong way. I am applying to Denison University (Granville,OH) New York University
(DUH), The Ohio State University (Columbus, OH) and Spelman University (Atlanta, GA). I think that I will get accepted to like on of those school and live out a depressing existance, but other than that Im just workin hard and trying to keep my greades up.